Come On

fell down

2005-04-16T04:14:00.000-07:00

I fell on my butt with both legs in the air today

Life is but a walking shadow

2005-04-12T07:49:00.000-07:00

"Life is but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more.

It is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing."

Collide

2005-04-11T09:07:00.000-07:00

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you

Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know
I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

first book i ever finished

2005-03-31T07:23:00.000-08:00

haha today's the day i finished my first book

sarcastic me

2005-03-29T20:35:00.000-08:00

Haha i was sarcastic for the first time in my life

In the Secret

2005-03-03T05:29:00.000-08:00

In the secret, in the quiet place
In the stillness you are there.
In the secret, in the quiet hour
I wait only for You.

'Cause I want to know you more.
'Cause I want to know you more.

I want to know You,
I want to hear Your voice,
I wan to know You more.
I want to touch You,
I want to see Your face,
I want to know You more.

I am reaching for the highest goal,
That I might receive the prize.
Pressing onward, Pushing every hindrance aside,
Out of my way,

'Cause I want to know You more.
'Cause I want to know You more.

I See Love

2005-03-03T05:13:00.000-08:00

Some see a teacher
Standing on a hill
Speaking words of wisdom
Some see a healer
Reaching out his hand
To give sight to a blind man
Some see a dreamer
Wasting his life
On what can never be
Some see a fool
Dying for his dreams
But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love
Some see a prisoner
Alone before his judge
With no one to defend him
Some see a victim
Beaten and abused
With all the world against him
Some see a martyr
Carrying his cross
For what he believes
Some see a hero
Who set his people free
But I see love (I see love)
I see love (I see love)
Light of heaven breaking through
Well I see grace (I see grace)
I see God's face (I See Gods face)
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
With your last breath
I see love
Through your death
I see love
I see peace in the eyes of the king
I see hope in your suffering (I see love)
I see a calm in the center of the storm
I see a Saviour
I see love
I see love
Light of heaven breaking through (heaven breaking through)
I see grace
I see God's face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
I see love
When I see you
I see heaven breaking through
See Gods face
Shining pure and perfect love
When I see you
When I see you
When I see you
I see love
I see love
When I see
Some see Him walking from an empty grave...

Dreams to dream

2005-02-17T05:16:00.000-08:00

I lose my way
No one cares
The words I say
No one hears
My life it seems
Is a world of dreams

Deep in the night
You'll find me
Dream and you might
Behind me stay
If you will stay
We'll dream the night away

Dreams to dream
In the dark of the night
When the world goes wrong
I can still make it right
I can see so far in my dreams
I'll follow my dreams
Until they come true

There is a star
Waiting to guide us
Shining inside us
When we close our eyes
Come with me
You will see what I mean
There's a world inside
No one else ever sees
You will go so far in my dreams
Somewhere in my dreams
Your dreams will come true

Don't let go
If you stay close to me
In my dreams tonight
You will see what I see
Dreams to dream
As near as can be
Inside you and me
They always come true

Inside you and me
They always come true

Illusions

2005-02-05T04:44:00.000-08:00

Middle of the night
and it's getting so hard to breathe

You can't sleep
can't think
can't hardly dream

Do you even fear what the world wants you to be?

Open your eyes and just see what the world is,
Open your mind and you're free,

There's more in this world than we see,
Just leave these illusions behind and run with me
If all of the things that you thought you would be
Pass you by

We'll find what we need in our lives

We'll find what we need in our lives

I spent a lifetime hoping it would come to me
Getting lost in the lies i believed
We're covered by a mask that we think is our sin
But never realize that the truth is within

Open your eyes and just see what the world is
Open your mind and you're free

And what are you hiding from?
Is it safe there inside your walls?
'Cause your chance is bound to come
if you're strong enough to live at all

We'll find what we need in our lives

We'll find what we need in our lives

Open your eyes and just see what the world is
Open your mind and you're free...

welcome to my life

2005-01-31T05:19:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don’t belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alright
You don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you’re bleeding

No you don’t know what it’s like
When nothing feels alrightY
ou don’t know what it’s like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I’m happy
But I’m not gonna be ok!

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don’t know what it’s like
What it’s like!

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around

To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you’re down
To feel like you’ve been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one’s there to save you
No you don’t know what it’s like

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

Welcome to my life

that's what's friends are for

2005-01-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

That's What Friends Are For

by Jess Ica

Together we've been through everything,
Some good times and some bad.
Some things have made us happy,
Others made us sad.
But no matter what has happened,
Through our tears and our mistakes,
You've always been here for me
To fix my heart before it breaks.
We've gone from heartaches to headaches,
Gone from fights to fears.
But I've always seen you by my side,
To pick me up and dry my tears.
Through rain or sunshine,
Whether it may be wind or snow,
I can always count on you to be there
Wherever we may go.
Even through our different troubles,
The won'ts the can'ts the will's,
You'd travel any distance,
Mountains, roads or hills.
Announcements or secrets,
Whatever they may be,
I'll always be here to lend an ear,
You can always count on me.
We've shared our secrets with each other,
And it continues going strong.
We've stayed best friends through decisions made,
Whether they be right or wrong.
As our lives change back and forth,
From one thing to another,
We will always stay in contact,
Best friends forever.
Through the years we've grown so close,
And I wish for hundreds more.
But if you need help then I'll be here...
Because that's what friends are for.

i saw eternity the other night

2005-01-26T08:46:00.000-08:00

I SAW Eternity the other night,
Like a great ring of pure and endless light,
All calm, as it was bright ;
And round beneath it,
Time in hours, days, years
Driv'n by the spheres
Like a vast shadow mov'd ;
in which the world
And all her train were hurl'd

True

2005-01-19T18:19:00.000-08:00

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
It's true
Cuz i'm afarid to know the answers
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life i've waiting
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
It's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you

All my life i've waited
This is true
I know when I go I'll be on my way to you
The way thats true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life
I've waited

This is true

Inspiration

2005-01-18T04:21:00.000-08:00

Hey rubber ducky. Been kinda long since I told you something. Well most of the times I tell you stuff because they are worth mentioning. It's pointless if this is just a diary. It's pointless if it's just a record of what happened during each day.

Okay, now back to my story. It all started when I was taking a cab home. Nothing much, didn't really expect much out of the day, didn't really expect... an inspiration...

Okay so I hopped on this cab, the cabby greeted me and we're off...

The cabby was a nice man, great with his language. I came in with an intention to just listen to my player and wait till we've reached. Yet he kept rantling on...

"JC?"

"Yea..."

"Great! Gotta study hard alright?"

"Guess so..."

"JC is a very big leap, soon you'll be in University. Gotta work hard!"

"I'm not sure... Things are so... different in JC... people don't seem that close anymore...Things don't seem that warm anymore..."

Without a single pause... he just said

"Who cares! Don't be hindered by your emotions. You can do alot of things if you take away those emotional barriers inside you!"

Actually that wasn't the point. The point was, he said something else...

"... Nothing is impossible. I see that you have big aspirations. You want to be a scientist eh? Work hard. Opportunities are abundant. Seize them. You want to earn big eh? Then work hard first. You know, It's good to have ambitions! It is always good to dream! But first, start small. Start by working hard for now. Start by studying hard! Only then can you fulfill your big ambitions. I see you have a bright future ahead! You're only 17, you have a big future ahead of you! I tell you, now isn't the time, start small first. Once you've hit above 20, then that's the time you fly! I've been around for 45 years already. Time I've settled down. Can't fly anymore. But you still can. You have a bright future ahead of you. You've told me your dream, and I know with your ability you can make it happen. I'm sure of it. Always remember, think big, start small..."

Before I left the cab, he patted my head.

The cabby's name was Liew.

You know rubber ducky, we're mere strangers, yet he could believe in my dream. Such a short period of time, and yet he was sure of my ambition. It was really amazing. Somehow that got me to think. Come to think of it, I've realised I've always been dreaming big. I've always wanted to be a multi-millionare and stuff. Haha, funny dream. But I've always hoped I'll make it big one day in the future. But I realised, that for now, I'll have to work hard, prove to the world that I can make it in anything that I do. I'll prove to the world that I can make it. In time to come, I'll make it big. But for now, I'll work hard. From this day onwards. I promise you, rubber ducky. I promise you, Lord...

Nothing is impossible, with the Lord...

Thank you Liew for your inspiration, thank you rubber ducky for listening to me.

Thank you Jesus, for having faith in me.

I shall never disppoint you all...

High

2005-01-01T07:09:00.000-08:00

When you're close to tears remember
Someday it'll all be over
One day we're gonna get so high
Though it's darker than December
What's ahead is a different colour
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
Remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was me and you

Cause we are gonna be
Forever, you and me
You willAlways keep it flying high in the sky
Of love

Don't you think it's time you started
Doing what we always wanted
One day we're gonna get so high
Cause even the impossible
Is easy when we got each other
One day we're gonna get so high

And at the end of the day remember the days
When we were close to the end
And wonder how we made it through the night
At the end of the day
Remember the way
We stayed so close to the end
We'll remember it was me and you

Cause we are gonna beForever, you and me
You willAlways keep it flying high in the sky
Of love

When The Children Cry

2004-12-28T06:12:00.000-08:00

Little child
dry you crying eyes
How can I explain
the fear you feel inside?

'Cause you were born
into this evil world
Where man is killing man
but no one knows just why

What have we become
just look what we have done
All that we destroyed
you must build again

When the children cry
let them know we tried
'Cause when the the children sing
then the new world begins

Little child
you must show the way
To a better day for all the young
'Cause you were born
for the world to see
That we all can live
with love and peace

No more presidents
and all the wars will end
One united world under God

When the children cry
let them know we tried...

What have we become
just look what we have done
All that we destroyed
you must build again
No more presidents
and all the wars will end
One united world under God

When the children cry
let them know we tried
'Cause when the children fight
let them know it ain't right
When the children pray
let them know the way
'Cause when the children sing
then the new world begins...

Our Farewell

2004-12-27T23:18:00.000-08:00

In my hands
A legacy of memories
I can hear you say my name
I can almost see your smile
Feel the warmth of your embrace
But there is nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

Sweet darling you worry too much, my child
See the sadness in your eyes
You are not alone in life
Although you might think that you are

Never thought
This day would come so soon
We had no time to say goodbye
How can the world just carry on?
I feel so lost when you are not by my side
But there's nothing but silence now
Around the one I loved
Is this our farewell?

So sorry your world is tumbling down
I will watch you through these nights
Rest your head and go to sleep
Because my child,
this is not our farewell
This is not our farewell

Where are you Christmas

2004-12-24T06:56:00.000-08:00

Where are you Christmas?
Why can't I find you?
Why have you gone away?

My world is changing
I'm rearranging
Does that mean Christmas changes too?

Where are you Christmas?
Do you remember...
The one you used to know...

Me when I were so carefree
Now nothing's easy
Did Christmas change...
Or just...
Me......?

2004-12-24T06:35:00.000-08:00

I don't know when we fell apart
The love that we had was like a work of art
I used to see Heaven in your eyes
Now angels are fallen from your skies
Things we said were so wrong
And I haven't held you for so long
My foolish pride turns me inside
Why did we tell all those lies?
You can reach for the phone
You don't have to be alone

Outside the winter seems so cold
Your heart is frozen like the snow
And there's no one home to keep you safe and warm
Your eyes are red because you've cried
You fell asleep by the fire side
But there's one thing you should know
On this Christmas baby
You don't have to be alone

And I have only one wish on my list, oh
For me you would be the perfect gift, oh yea
There's nothing colder than an empty home, no
And holidays were never meant to be alone, oh
The smiles we gave when our hearts were saved
By each other's love and warmth
That's subsided now
No happiness around
If I could only find a way to your heart

Outside the winter seems so cold
Your heart is frozen like the snow
And there's no one home to keep you safe and warm
You don't have to be alone
Your eyes are red because you've cried
You fell asleep by the fire side
But there's one thing you should know
On this Christmas baby
You don't have to be alone

oh well

2004-12-21T08:05:00.000-08:00

heya rubber ducky!
just thought you might be bored waiting for me to talk to you. haha.
oh well, one year's passing so quickly.
next year... hmmm... not sure what might happen, hope 2005 will be a better year, for me, for everyone else.

Not really sure what to say right now. Sigh work tomorrow. Sucks. Actually, if someone was working with me, that wouldn't be so bad after all. JY!!! Go work leh!!! Don't whole day play DOTA!!! You noob!!! Hahaha!!

Just got this friendship band as a christmas present. Liked it really much.

My wishlist for christmas:
- be myself
- love God even more
- nothing really much else i want, i am contented =)

A big "thank you" to those who have helped me this year.

and thank you God..

trust

2004-12-18T03:00:00.000-08:00

I dream a dream as time gone by,
when hopes were high and life worth living.
I dream that love would never die,
I dream that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid,
and dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
no song unsung no wine untasted.

I had a dream my life would be,
so different from this way I'm living,
so different from all it seems,
Now life has lost the dream I dream...

Hey rubber ducky, there's something i want to tell you... I'm alone. Just realised that I can never trust anyone. No one at all, no one except God. Maybe it's my fault. Maybe I'm just too sensitive. But I can't trust anyone now. Yea, guess it's my fault. I don't want to accept, but somehow, I always get this feeling that the things around me seem so...unreal. People aren't real anymore. The crowd is but a facade, ready to change at the turn of a page. Nothing seems real anymore. I feel alone. What should I do? Yea I know, I've always got you. But you can't do anything, you can't speak. But isn't that better? At least I trust you. At least I have you, and God. Guess I'm not that alone after all. But this journey still seems so quiet. Too quiet...

It would be nice to have someone walking beside me...

To God above, I want to walk by you again, to stand tall and unafraid with you, to bravely face the cold world together with you.

Father, I ask only of one thing this Christmas, my innocence. Guide me back to the way I was, bring me back to where I belong, take me back into your arms, fill me with your love, never let me leave your side, for now, for ever.

Journey of a dream, God. There was once, when I was young, I held your hands, I felt them, strong, firm, kind. Back then, they told me, our dream is to be like you, to be God-like. For me, to be with you all the time, was my dream. To walk beside you, knowing that nothing can harm me, was my dream. After, came this point of time, when i lost this dream. It lingered on. I soon grew reluctant to find this dream again. I thought I'd lost it forever. I thought I could never realise it again. Then, right now, in the most unexpected time, when I felt most helpless and afraid and confused, there it was. My dream. Sitting there, right in front of me, all the time. I just never bothered to search. Right now, I've found this dream, a light shines from it once again.

Father, guide me, with your strength, with your light, with your faith, make me what you want me to be. Make me whole again.

fading away

2004-12-15T02:06:00.000-08:00

Finally, my first proper entry. But yeah, those previous ones, somehow I posted them when i felt like what they were portraying. Been raining heavily these past few days. So wet, so cold. Went to work three times a week. From seven in the morning till three in the afternoon. Seven in the morning, three in the afternoon... The same things, the same feeling, first few times were quite alright. But soon after... emptiness. So lonely. So cold. No one with me. Going all the way to work felt so..routine. It was killing me. I don't know, somehow everything feels so cold. No one to comfort me, no one to hold me. Just like that. I'm fading away. How could this happen to me?

Untitled

2004-12-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

I open my eyes
I try to see
but I'm blinded by the white light

I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on

As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound
but no one hears me

I'm slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a
time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on

As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes
I've got no where to run
The night goes on

As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

It's Your Love

2004-11-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

Dancin' in the dark, middle of the night
Takin' your heart and holdin' it tight
Emotional touch, touchin' my skin
And askin' you to do
What you've been doin' all over again

Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go

It's your love
It just does somethin' to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Oh, it's your love

Better than I was, more than I am
And all of this happened by taking your hand
And who I am now is who I wanted to be
And now that we're together
I'm stronger than ever I'm happy and free

Oh, it's a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
If you asked me why I've changed
All I gotta do is say your sweet name

It's your love it just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder
About the spell I'm underOh,
It’s your love

Oh, its a beautiful thing
Don't think I can keep it all in
I just gotta let you know
What it is that won't let me go

It's your love it just does something to me
It sends a shock right through me
I can't get enough and if you wonder
About the spell I'm under
Oh, it’s your love
It's your love
It's your love

Come On

2004-07-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

And finally the silence,
looking out,
looking back across the sky,
Trying to find a meaning,
knowing that I just left it all behind
Still I smell a lingering softness
Where did she go,
how did she go,
I wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming
here to me
Come on,
without you I'll never feel the love insideof me
Come On,
you know that we belong
come on, come on
Thinking back before her,
I never knew the meaning of alone
Still the flag is feeling foreign,
I live the day to escape into a phone
Speaking of a world not real then
where did she go how did she go,
I wanna know
I wanna know that she'll be coming
here to me
Come on...
She's coming,
She's coming here to me,
I'm needing,
desiring to kiss her now,
I'm living for her,
breathing for her,
singing for her fairytale.

My Day of Arrival

2004-07-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

My first name is Jeremy Koh Siang Hui
I am a little Baby Boy
I was born at 1743 hours
on 29th July 1987
My weight was 6.6 lbs
My height was 0.5 m
My eyes were Black in colour
The colour of my hair was Black
My place of birth was Thomson Medical Centre
The Doctor's name was G.P. Teo